Attachment & Repression

She holds on to what she thinks she’s supposed to

holds back everything she feels

Plastic knife culture 

Harsh judgement hails from narrowest vantage

Those whom envy are those whom blame 

Guilt and blame are perfect magnets

High horse stepping stone’s throw away 

lies built on ire stilts 

Humans create societal paradigms no humans can meet 

It’s a game everyone loses 

Simultaneously pretend they’re the happiest generation 

ever walked the earth 

Someone showed her a picture of a starving African child 

and told her she’s lucky

Ever since then, she’s been repressing 

unfulfilled desires and discontent 

in guilt and shame

That’s not gratitude, silly human-person

Telling herself she’s lucky in order to repress her feelings 

She’s lying to herself

And the person who showed her that picture 

of that starving kid 

was also lying to himself 

Of course we should have compassion for those in need

But this doesn’t invalidate our suffering

The whole thing’s a lie

The humans of earth are all steeping in a particular kind of sadness

Palpable sickness which soaks in shallow pools of empiricism

They lie there in that warm puddle pondering the origin of life

It’s the tower of Babel all over again

Plastic knife culture thinks it’ll find God in technology

Like the oppressive sun which never sets

like an endless breath

inhalation which never exhales

The masculine lie of holistic logic

Remember the runaway train

no one’s at the wheel 

An entire generation of humans building lies on top of lies

Nobody’s asking why

Suffering is attachment and repression

They hold on to what they think they’re supposed to

They hold back what they actually feel 

And then they blame each other

for holding on and holding back

differing aspects in varying degrees 

There’s only one way, silly human-person

Let Go. 

I Want Freedom

Chasing kundalini high 

grog malaise 

New Age nonsense-mongers

they paint spirituality as a tranquil thing

peaceful, sweet godness 

I scream

I die in spite of every goddam day

This is a goddam war! 

I do not know who’s winning

Suicide still sings superficial songs 

of hope in the last ditch 

No, spirituality is not tranquil

It’s a daily revelation that the artist wasn’t actually facing himself

the artist only glorified his shadow

The spirit must face the fucking shadow

And what a goddam thing that is

long, long, long 

What a long, lonesome tail 

gruesome tailbone

cyst in the seat of her grace

hammer to the face

Chasing light is no means

of capturing light

I once sang, “Only marionettes 

Dancing in the night

Chasing their shadows

Somehow they find the light”

I sometimes think my body is beyond reproach

beyond repair

This, in lieu of music, these words

this is my vigilant attempt 

this is my only hammer

useless? 

I don’t know where the fucking nails are

It’s like bedbugs

they’re easy to kill when you can find them!

it doesn’t matter what kind of “spray”

when you don’t know where they are

Demons, shadows, bad energy, these are all dumb words

for some karmic substance we carry

some experiential ire which plagues

mind-emotion, body, and yes, “energy” 

May need a socket wrench to rip open this retched being-ness

this thing I Am hath become manifested as man

Yes, Sadhguru, Yes Socrates, I take responsibility

What I Am now, I Am because of some pastime unknown to my present

I have fleeting glimpses of lifetimes of misery, many suicides 

I never venture too far or attempt to know those fleeting glimpses

I never pretend glimpses are truths 

I don’t grasp onto them

I don’t want to hold this shit anymore

none of it

I want out

I want out

I want out

Every day I pray, “God, let me out of this trap”

this body may be a gift in some sense

perhaps I was even MORE trapped before this

this was the sense I used to get when I came close to ending it

I must remind myself to find gratitude

Regardless, I want out

I do not wish to be a human 

I want freedom

I want freedom

I want freedom

Find Self

The doomsday trekkers 

    who only know themselves 

    on the edge of annihilation

 I wrote for people who hadn't been born 

    so that they may not die 

My own are their own annihilation

My own are their own rat race

    blind mice riding coattails 

When tech kills all that's left 

    of misplaced values

Sons and daughters 

    of the dead generation 

    will look up 

See, not all the stars burnt up

    for the sake of seeing themselves shine 

Some set out to create self-aware

    solar systems 

    which recognize the spinning cycle

    in order to break them 

Worlds spin in order for us to realize

    motion sickness 

Realization escapes 

    doomsday proclamations 

Entropy is a great play of elements 

    whom all desire to expand 

    to infinite proportions 

Stardust longing to shine 

Enlightenment is beyond space and time

I wrote to you so that you may not suffer

    as I did 

So that you may discover 

    the true self

    never burns out 

    never stops shining

So Sweetly Broken

(put to music & recorded once HERE)


Spirit is roaming

Streets of all-knowing

All that I’ve known is

So sweetly broke-

-inside of my bones

A rooster was crowing,

“Time to wake up

You’re so sweetly broken”



So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken now



Arms were wide open-

-joying the show

When God cracked a joke

Which cracked me wide open

Mind, body, soul

Were all overflowing

So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken



So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken now



I heard the laughter

Of ever after

Lighting it crackled

Thunder it cackled

Fell off my ladder

Into the ocean-

All the commotion

Now I Am only



So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken now



Now I’m a floating

Star in the ocean

Body’s just soaking

So sweetly broken

Moonlight is moaning

Riptide is towing

Mind and emotion

So sweetly broken



So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken now



Dark nights of the soul

Where hot meets the cold

The eye of the storm

Is so sweetly open

Light has awoken

I get the joke

We’re all the same ocean

So sweetly broken



So sweetly broken

So sweetly broken now



As above, so below

The spirit has spoken

Poetry in motion

So sweetly broken

Time has foretold (time)

The aether unfolds (space)

As earth’s turning over (earth)

Rivers are flowing (water)

Breath of life blowing (air)

Fire into growing (fire)

Stars into glowing

Though they are lonely

So sweetly hoping

Eyes of the ocean

No longer broken

So sweetly open now

One Who Keeps Reaching

Addicts are spiritual seekers who don’t know it yet. Art is the pursuit of spirit. We’re here to overturn materialism. A society which forces artists to serve three course meals to materialists to pay for microwaved ramen, to wash dishes & chauffeur the rich in Ubers, is a society on the brink of collapse. Society’s killing us by not valuing us then blaming us for not having value. We exist to explore the metaphysical in a society that’s hellbent on materialistic orthodoxy.



Something keeps killing my friends

the artists, creators

Since I was a kid

The ones who keep reaching

keep dying

What is it that keeps killing them?

It’s easy to say “drugs” and “suicide”

and move on catatonically 

Play fake wisdom

It’s much more difficult 

to reach  

for something else



We’re the ones 

who keep reaching 

We’re the kids who look up and say

“Am I good enough now, Dad?” 

“Am I doing it right, Mom?” 

No matter how we reach

We’re not what our family

wants us to be



We’re the ones 

who keep reaching

We reach for community

“There a place for me here?”

“Am I good enough here?”

No matter how we reach

We’re not what our community

wants us to be



We’re the ones 

who keep reaching

We reach into society

No matter how we far we reach

We’re not what society

wants us to be



That limp hand of Adam

on the Sistine Chapel

that’s the voice of family

that’s the voice of community

that’s the voice of society



We’re the ones 

who keep reaching

We reach for each new day

We say, “today I will be the right version of myself”

“Today I will be what society

wants me to be”

“Today I will be what my community

wants me to be”

“Today I will be what my family

wants me to be”



Did our family ever consider 

Did our community ever consider

Did our society ever consider

maybe we’re supposed to be

exactly the way we are?

maybe we weren’t born wrong?

maybe we weren’t born “ill”?

Maybe some people are born

to keep reaching



Those of us who reach adulthood

We’re the walking scar tissue

The bionic body parts

limping through timespace

Carrying the weight

of all we reached for in vain

Self-medicating

a prerequisite to survival

and the irony of early demise



Those of us who reach adulthood

tattered and torn

Nowhere out there left to reach

When we begin to reach

the other way

We discover the vigor

the will power

we learned through sheer pain

As we begin to reach inward

something reaches back

When we reach that way

there’s only one way to reach

When silence falls

the voice of family

When silence falls

the voice of community

When silence falls

the voice of society

Only one voice is left 

It’s far beyond victimhood

It’s far beyond blame

It’s far beyond guilt, failure, shame

It is it’s own medication

There’s nothing to self-medicate

It’s a place beyond right and wrong

It’s the thing we were reaching for

all along



There it is

concealed in plain sight

The artist is the art

Concealed in the silent mind

Feet crossed in the illusory cerebellum

Only inches away

Who’s that reaching back?

Between the bionic eyes of the brain



One who keeps reaching

reaches Grace


Artist reaches through Agna

Artist reaches through Agna

Is Simply Isness

Got a glimpse of God,

God as my witness

God is all that is 

is simply isness

Destiny doesn’t ask

his forgiveness

Curiosity is the tree 

of earthly wisdom

The serpent is the spirit 

of redemption

Karma is the human sentence

Art is his earthly business

His palette of color  

is the refraction

of the prism

of resistance

Which is why mystics

make godawful artists

And artists 

make misleading mystics

The other side of the rainbow

is infinite resplendence

Though curiosity resolved

is simply isness

Death Doth Dance

4-12-21 Midnight, Huntsville, AL

Goodbye Stone Anderson (1994-2021)

Now you know

It’s all a show

See you soon, dream brother




Death doth dance

center stage

Foxtrot ‘round martyred clock

hip-hop 

samba 

slips into ballet

Hacked rot garden backdrop 

black

mamba 

waltzes from the grave

Tempting the spotlighter 

to cast a shade

Crowd cowers in the dark

Sub stack towers 

rumble

Spacetime’s sub plot

crumbles

The story’s Roman arch

Gravels to gravity’s 

masked funeral march



Behind the scenes glimpse

stagehand 

from stage left

“Inner Workings of the Ageless Clock”

stage is set

third act 

of death

As long as life 

is act one

Show must go on

once now 

hath begun

Fat lady sings entropy 

what’s always been sung

Swan song suspended 

mid air midriff 

wings melt

in strobe light suns

Overcome

by the myth of sin

jumping the gun

Life’s lilted echo 

listens through

line arrays

hung by the tongue

Feedback loop cues

monitors

Molten lavalieres clipped 

onto her

Requiem’s ambivalent 

umbilical 

collar 

Reaching out from the brain

the puppetmaster 

Reveals Adam’s naval 

on the Sistine Chapel  

Cynics buried flowers

curtsy to reveal their thorns

French Quarter daemons

bow to reveal procession horns

Hallowed brass billows up Frenchman

En route to another flooded coffin

lost on the whim



Angel riggers in the rafters

belay the puppetmaster

Pyrotechnics firecrackers

Petrified crowd turns to laughter

Cradle rolls from stage right

Baby giggles from inside

Curtain call floodlights

Reveal cast 

crowd and crew

Puppetmaster taps his way

to center stage

Spotlight follows his final cue

He throws his hand over his face

He shows them why the play is named

“A Game of Peek-A-Boo”

I Am

The song which began the transformation 1/1/2021 remains unfinished. This will be its resting place, as a “poem"…

 

I’m the one who breaks the fall

The weight of Jacob’s ladder

I’m the mason’s cornerstone

Who laid the tower of Babel

I’m the one who leaves the tongue

When all the words are scattered

I’m the language of the world

The only one that matters



[water]

I’m a wake washing a wave

Which walks upon all water

[air]

I’m the breath you share

The heir to thrones of your forefathers

[fire]

I’m your Sun who feeds the wheat

You leave your sheep for fodder

[earth]

I’m the earth on which you lead

Your feast unto their slaughter

[& then came energy… unfathomable, unexplainable, unbelievable… energy…]