∞OFFICIAL ROBERT LASALLE EPK & EULOGY∞
R.I.P.
∞
VAN
∞
WINKLE
∞
R.I.P. ∞ VAN ∞ WINKLE ∞
“You don’t remember Robert Sally? You know, he sang that one song in that show. What’s it called? Oh you know, I can’t remember the name of it. That show with that guy from the 90’s and that other guy, you know, with the weird hair. It wasn’t that great of a show, but the song was okay. I mean, It wasn’t a remarkable song, really. He’s no Taylor Swift, right honey? Anything outside 3 chords at 120 bpm and I shit the bed. I don’t enjoy thinking or feeling much. Anyways, that guy who sang that song in that show with that other guy with the hair, he’s dead. That’s kinda sad, right? Are you thinking we eat out tonight? I’ve been craving tortured animal flesh with corn syrup. ”
RIP Robert LaSalle (2003-2020)
ENTROPIC SOCIETY OF AESTHETIC BANKRUPTCY HONOR ROBERT LASALLE FOR HIS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THESE DUMB TV SHOWS:
THE ROBERT LASALLE STORY, ALBUM BY ALBUM:
THE ROBERT LASALLE DISCOGRAPHY:
Herein lie the remains of René-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle, explorer of metaphysics. His last words were, "Fuck the music industry, fuck society, and God bless you sick, fat, phony, cunt bastards, hallelujah, Kumbaya, sayonara & good riddance." Then the wolves chewed off his jaw and he spoke no more. Though he stayed alive for nearly another hour while the wolves gnawed on him. At one point he hummed the melody to "Stayin Alive" in a wispy, gargling "agghh" tone. A small crowd gathered to rejoice. He was not well liked by humans. The wolves were quite fond of him. Amen.